From Damaged To Healed: My Story

From zip lining to extreme pain. That's how I found out, during a family getaway in Boone, NC in Sept 2010. Having FUN, mind you.

I didn't sleep that night. I nearly crawled to the surgeon's office from my own at the hospital on Monday morning. He direct admitted me. Surgery was coming.

The next two and a half weeks were spent in the hospital, after major abdominal surgery, extremely ill and most of my colon and my gall bladder removed. Pancreatitis followed. Until around day 16, when they discovered I had gastroparesis (aka paralyzed stomach). They treated me, pulled the tube decompressing my stomach from my nose, and sent me home the next day. I had lost 17 pounds.

I had a long list of what not to eat (ever): anything with fiber (many fresh fruits and veggies - including salad!, beans, whole grains), anything with a high fat content (cheese, french fries, marbled meats, pizza), The list went on and on. Basically, if it's white, it's alright. See: Gastroparesis Diet

Well, for someone who has struggled with this little thing called weight for years, it wasn't alright.  I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I couldn't eat what I was "supposed" to eat - the healthy stuff - and that I could eat very little at a time.

To say that I rebelled is an understatement. I wanted to scream!  I really tested the limits of the DO NOT list for sure. Junk food became my friend. I could eat small portions without having to plan or worry whether it was going to upset my stomach. But, OH, I paid the price! Severe pain, bloating,... And ultimately... weight gain. LOTS of it.

My metabolism had slowed to a crawl. When you lose that much weight in two weeks through starvation (I had nothing in my stomach during that time), you protein waste. I lost so much muscle mass! Then, I ended up having two more repair surgeries within the next 6 months. And I was definitely not exercising during that time of recovery to regain that lost muscle tissue.

The REAL issue is that I was having problems adapting. Giving up control. I wanted to have my cake and eat it to. Problem was, cake was on the new diet... It was permissible, but not #beneficial to my health!

I wanted to do everything right, but I was struggling. Failing.

Here's where God hit me across the head.  Wait.  There I was trying grasp hold of this new persona. This new label that the medical world had slapped on me. I felt like damaged goods. Cut up. Marred. Not whole.

Then God said (indirectly), "Wendy, no man can tell you who you are. I call you by name. You are mine. Gastroparesis doesn't define you. It doesn't hold your future. I do."

He showed me over and over Jeremiah 29:11-13:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I cannot tell you that without tears coming to my eyes. It changed everything. I still had a future!!! I just needed to pray and continue to seek Him. God would show me the way!

Because of this, I have conquered Step 1. Giving up my heart completely and my future to The Lord. I am on a new path. A journey where only He knows the outcome. I am in DEEP, and I have given up control. And it's overwhelmingly exciting!

Now I am on to Step 2. Giving up my persona as damaged goods with eating at the center of it all. The Proverbs31 Made to Crave study has taken me to places where I have never been. With God at the center of my decisions over food and my body. It has challenged me over and over, while my Online bible study sisters have held me accountable. Oh, I still have a long way to go. But I am armed and prepared this time. AND I have the time...

God knows our every need. He knows what is #beneficial for us, even when we have no clue. He knows our future, and He has plans for you and for me. We just need to put all of our trust in Him!  

No matter what your facing today...  

God's got this.


PLEASE listen to this song, Healer by Kari Jobe. 
Claim it like I have... 

I believe You're my healer
I believe You're all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus, You're all I need...