(Pity) Party Central

So it’s down to the final week. 

The last couple of days of that full-time management job. 

And the attacks reigned down on my self-esteem.

What my heart heard this past week was: “Things didn’t work out the way we expected.  We are hoping to replace you with someone better.  More experienced.  Better suited.”

My mind screams, “WAIT!!  Wasn’t I the one to turn in my resignation?  Didn’t I accept God’s calling to follow my dream?  Wasn’t I good enough before?”

My feelings are hurt.  I get frustrated.  I get angry.  Actually, I down-right throw a pity party.  As a result, I revert back to old ways, doing what I have always done: allowing myself to come undone. (Really. As if that solves anything!)

First, I stop writing down what I eat.  Then, I make an excuse about that next bite not counting (I deserve it, right?), and then another excuse about not exercising.  I am STRESSED!  Plus, I have homework to do when I get home from work.  Everyone knows you need snack food while you are writing papers and doing school work (well, at least chips, popcorn, peanuts, or something salty).

What a mess!  When I rely on my own strength, I fail. Period. As I have over and over again.   

This week, however, I didn’t go into a tailspin. There was a difference.  The pity party didn’t last as long.  

Why?  

First, I had accountability.  By some godly sisters in Christ (sweet sisters of Group 19!).  For someone who does not have a best friend that I talk to regularly & spend time with, it is amazing to be a part of a community of women online who can help encourage you when you are down and speak Truth and words of life over you.

Second, I was challenged by this week’s scripture from Made to Crave:

But he [Jesus] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). 

I had to remind myself that I am not alone.  The power of the living God resides in me… that life giving, resurrection power!  And His power is made perfect in my weakness.  I don’t have to be strong!  In fact, in 2 Corinthians, Paul is even boasting about being weak!!

So when things don’t go my way, when they don’t seem fair, or when I am starting to feel attacked, I need to call it for what it is: Spiritual Warfare.  When these battles are raging inside me, I should never attempt to face them in my own strength.  It’s the DUH factor.  If Christ’s power is in me, why am I not asking Him for strength???  If Christ is for me, who can be against me?  DUH!!!  

So when I woke up this morning, the Lord gave me a song, as He so often does.  It’s Jamie Grace’s song “Hold Me”.  I hope that you will give it a listen and that it will bring a smile to your face the same way that it did to mine this morning.  Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself and go, “Ahhhh, I get it now!!”  Thank you, LORD!

Jamie Grace:  Hold Me